Shattered Self Esteem

When I was in my late teens something happened that shook me to my roots and yet started me on a journey to fulfillment that has resulted in me being the confident, person /motivational speaker I am today.


Let me tell you the story…I was 17 years old, 6’3” tall and weighed 129 pounds of rippling, power packed muscle. I really did look like a broomstick with glasses.

I was standing in front of a full length mirror combing my hair when my aunt, who was visiting from out of town, walked in front of me. She looked at me and said,” You know Mike it’s a damn good thing God gave you personality because he sure didn’t give you looks.” She laughed and moved on past me.

I just stood there in shock and disbelief not knowing what to say.

If you were standing in my place and heard these words directed at you how would you have felt?

I didn’t realize the long term impact her words would have on me during the coming years and how I would struggle to heal and grow beyond their bite.

For many years after I was married whenever my wife and I were dressed to go out on the town she would look at me with admiration and say, “Mike, do you ever look handsome.”

For a long time my response would be, “ Carol, I’m clean and I smell good but don’t get carried away.”

The lesson I learned from this is clear: We don’t always know how our words affect others. Once they leave our mouth it’s impossible to get them back and their negative, destructive impact can remain for years.

Because of this hurtful event I became committed to monitoring my mouth to make certain I didn’t hurt others in the name of trying to be funny. Being human, I sometimes fail but when I do I immediately say I’m sorry and get back on track.

I ask you …can you relate to this story? Has something like this ever happened to you? How did you handle it and how did you overcome the negative impact on your life?


This is just one of the stories from Embracing the Mystery ( Living the Life You Want)

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