We have to be careful that our humour is never toxic or abusive. Toxic humour gets a laugh at the expense of another's dignity and well-being. It destroys our confidence and erodes our self-esteem and self-worth, which, in all too many of us, are already far too low.
For some reason we seem to be drawn to toxic or abusive humour. Perhaps it's because we see so much of it on television and in movies. It's not funny being mean.
My senior high school students hated toxic humour but were efficient in using it. They could quickly crush the spirit of another student with sarcastic humour, but if they were on the receiving end, it was a different story. It wasn't as funny.
I was giving a motivational talk to a group of 300 men and women from TOPS (Take off Pounds Sensibly) when a young woman approached me with the following story of toxic, abusive humour.
She and a group of friends were at an Octoberfest (The German Harvest Festival) dance in Kitchener, Ontario. When someone informed the band leader that it was her birthday he made the announcement and led the people in singing "Happy Birthday". When the song was finished the band leader dedicated the next polka to her. A handsome band member left his place in the orchestra to be her dance partner. As he held this attractive woman, in his arms the band began to play the "She's too Fat for Me Polka", the one that goes, "I don't want her you can have her she's too fat for me... " The woman told me that everyone laughed including her. But inside, her heart was breaking. Never use humour to hurt another, and never assume that just because you don't mean to hurt another that you actually don't do so.
We never know how our humour is going to be received by the person on the receiving end of it. You might think that it's harmless fun and you are only kidding, but your words could be doing serious harm. The phrase, "I was just joking," does not excuse or justify toxic or abusive humour.
It is important to remember that we are all fragile, sensitive creatures who long to be appreciated and respected. I think an important rule of thumb, when it comes to avoiding toxic, humour is to ask yourself how you would feel if you were the brunt of the remark you plan on making to another. Answer honestly and if there is one speck of doubt don't make the remark. Because once the words leave your mouth the hurt is done and you can't get them back.
"Toxic humour is a dishonest way of making yourself look good by making another look bad." MM
For some reason we seem to be drawn to toxic or abusive humour. Perhaps it's because we see so much of it on television and in movies. It's not funny being mean.
My senior high school students hated toxic humour but were efficient in using it. They could quickly crush the spirit of another student with sarcastic humour, but if they were on the receiving end, it was a different story. It wasn't as funny.
I was giving a motivational talk to a group of 300 men and women from TOPS (Take off Pounds Sensibly) when a young woman approached me with the following story of toxic, abusive humour.
She and a group of friends were at an Octoberfest (The German Harvest Festival) dance in Kitchener, Ontario. When someone informed the band leader that it was her birthday he made the announcement and led the people in singing "Happy Birthday". When the song was finished the band leader dedicated the next polka to her. A handsome band member left his place in the orchestra to be her dance partner. As he held this attractive woman, in his arms the band began to play the "She's too Fat for Me Polka", the one that goes, "I don't want her you can have her she's too fat for me... " The woman told me that everyone laughed including her. But inside, her heart was breaking. Never use humour to hurt another, and never assume that just because you don't mean to hurt another that you actually don't do so.
We never know how our humour is going to be received by the person on the receiving end of it. You might think that it's harmless fun and you are only kidding, but your words could be doing serious harm. The phrase, "I was just joking," does not excuse or justify toxic or abusive humour.
It is important to remember that we are all fragile, sensitive creatures who long to be appreciated and respected. I think an important rule of thumb, when it comes to avoiding toxic, humour is to ask yourself how you would feel if you were the brunt of the remark you plan on making to another. Answer honestly and if there is one speck of doubt don't make the remark. Because once the words leave your mouth the hurt is done and you can't get them back.
"Toxic humour is a dishonest way of making yourself look good by making another look bad." MM
This is an excerpt from Mike's book "Light Up With Laughter" (The Humour and Health Connection) http://motivationalplus.com/cgi/a/t.cgi?light
To have Mike present a vital message in a fun package to your groupvisit http://motivationalplus.com/cgi/a/t.cgi?motplus
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