22 Ways to Improve Your People Skills

    

            

1. Develop an interest in people and become other oriented.
2. Know what people need and then try to meet those needs.
3. Ask about their family and be genuinely interested in their answer.
4. Find people doing something right and praise them generously.
5. Believe in the collective wisdom of the group.
6. Talk in terms of a person's main interest....THEMSELVES.
7. Always look directly at the person you are speaking to.

8. Laugh at yourself. When you do you give people permission to laugh at themselves.
9. Start believing that people are your most valuable resource.
10.Always give credit, don't take credit.
11.Care about the health and well being of people.
12. When you must correct another person always do so gently and in private.
13. Always give another person the benefit of the doubt.
14. Never treat people like numbers or things.
15. Learn and use their first names.
16. Never give the impression that you are too busy or rushed to care.
17. Never use sarcasm in conversation. It's a low form of humor and can be hurtful.
18. Never try to make yourself look good by making someone else look bad.

19. Share cute, funny, clean stories with those you work with and invite them to do likewise.
20. Laugh and play together as a group. There is a bonding power in laughter and play.
21.When you do or say something hurtful always be big enough to apologize. " I'm sorry " is one of the most powerful phrases in any language
22. Smile. There is power in a smile and life is just too short not to.

These are from my manual, " Up Your People Skills" (101 Ways to Become a People Person)
Mike Moore speaks and writes on Humor and Human Relationships.
For more on becoming a people person visit http://motivationalplus.com/cgi/a/t.cgi?peopleskills

Two Boys and A Man ( A true Story of Friendship and Connection)

There is an old dog-eared photo of a little boy on my night table beside our bed. His name was Paul and he touched my life so deeply that I will never forget him. In fact we named our youngest son after him.

Let me tell you the story.

It was in the early 1970s. I was teaching grade 8 in a small school in the west end of Toronto. In my class I had a student named Tony. He was tall for his age and was a handful to say the least. But he was very likeable and I enjoyed having him in my class.

I was approached by our principal one day and asked if I would take Tony out of French class for a while and shoot hoops with him in the gym. He didn't like French and was giving the teacher a hard time. The principal was hoping that our time together in the gym would help Tony change his attitude and behaviour. I agreed and we started meeting every day for 30 minutes just before lunch.

During one of our hoop shooting sessions we received devastating news. One of our grade two students had been diagnosed with bone cancer in his leg and had to have it amputated. Thus began a journey of connection and friendship that would bond us forever.

After many weeks of therapy to get him used to walking with his new leg Paul returned to school. The principal met with the staff and told us that the prognosis wasn't that great but his parents wanted him to be in a normal and familiar environment for as long as possible. We were asked to be sensitive to his condition and presence in the school. Paul was told that if he got tired of sitting in class he could go for a short walk in the halls. We would keep an eye out for him. On more than one occasion he came into my class just to watch and listen for a little while.

Tony and I returned to our hoop shooting sessions and the school returned to normal. He was making good progress and a connection was being made. We enjoyed our time together.

One morning we saw the gym door open about 4 inches and a pair of brown eyes peeked through watching our every move. We both knew who it was but wanted him to enter when he was ready. We didn't want to rush him. The next day the door opened wider and his face was fully visible. We smiled and went on shooting. It was on the third day that he entered the gym and stood watching with his back against the wall.

It didn't take long for Tony to pass the ball to Paul with a smile and a nod to join in the play. The connection of two boys and a man had been made. From then on the three of us met at the same time, same place five days a week to shoot hoops, laugh and enjoy one another. When Paul found it difficult to make the ball reach the rim Tony would hoist him to his shoulders to make it easier.

Our time together continued until one day Paul couldn't come to school any longer. His cancer had progressed. When this happened we went to his home to visit and play cards with him for money. While no money ever changed hands we did keep a running tally and Paul was far ahead of me in winnings. In fact I received a thank you note from his Mom a few months later and attached to it was a hand printed bill for $600.

One morning the inevitable happened. Our little buddy had passed and our entire school community was crushed by feelings of pain, grief and loss. I went back to class to be with the students and we prayed and shed tears together.

When I got home that night I told my wife that Paul had died and then headed to our bedroom where I wept like a baby for a long time. He was so young, so full of energy and mischief. He was my little friend, my buddy and now he was gone.

Paul's Mom and Dad wanted a private funeral for family only so we didn't get a chance to be there for them in person but they were certainly in our prayerful thoughts.

A few weeks after his death I received a letter from his Mom containing a small coloured photo of a smiling Paul. He had such a refreshing, impish smile. I was so pleased to receive that photo and for over 40 years it has been on my night table. Every night when I retire I pass his image and remember. The fact that he would now be in his 50s doesn't enter my mind. To me he will always be my little Paul.

As for Tony, I haven't seen him since I left Toronto in 1973. I think of him often and wonder where and how he is. I hope the years have been kind to him and that he is happy. I am confident that the three of us will meet again and perhaps shoot a few heavenly hoops. Until then I live in hope with beautiful memories that will never fade.

Mike Moore is a former teacher who now speaks throughout North America on humour, attitude in human relations. If your group would like to look into the possibility of having Mike speak at your next conference visit http://www.mikemoorespeaks.com

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Mike's Funny Side of Life: Let's Go Home

I tell anyone who will listen that their lives are filled with laughter and fun if we would only take time to notice and enjoy them. The sad fact is that we have neglected the fun side of life for so long that we fail to celebrate it when something funny happens. In so doing we miss out on the physical and mental therapy humour and laughter provide in great abundance. Let me share an example with you from my own life.

It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon. You know, the kind of afternoon that shouts to every man, "Let's go shopping for furniture." My wife said we needed a new chair, an ottoman and a painting for the family room and would like to have me there to help pick them out. My powers of decorative selection are known far and wide, I guess.

I reluctantly agreed but pointed out that my bad back precluded any heavy lifting. We would have to get their employees to carry whatever furniture we bought, to our van. Carol agreed saying that the last thing she wanted was me moaning and groaning from back pain.After an hour or three looking we had the items selected and paid for. All that remained for us to do was to get them to the van, then home where our three grown sons could take over.

When I explained my medical incapacity to the sales person she said that the men who did the heavy lifting were out on a delivery and wouldn't be back for quite a while. At this point my misguided masculine pride took over and I heard myself saying something like, "I can handle this stuff. It isn't that heavy. " "Michael, (she always calls me Michael when she goes for emphasis) you will not touch that furniture. I do not want you flat on your back writhing in pain for two months" "But who's going to carry it if I don't?" I asked. "We will," she said, pointing to two attractive, well dressed young sales women.

With that Carol and her squad of power lifters went to work hoisting and carrying the chair, ottoman and huge picture while I, her 6' 3" 200 pound husband, stood watching. We left the store with Carol and her high heeled helpers carrying the furniture while I tagged along behind them looking sheepishly at the six million other shoppers all of whom just happened to be looking directly at me.

It was difficult, but I resisted the overwhelming temptation to explain why I was carrying nothing but my wife's purse. "Let's go home."

Just seeing humour in a situation is almost as effective as the laughter it evokes.

Always take the comic view of life.

Time spent laughing is time spent with the gods.

Mike Moore is a popular motivational speaker who writes and speaks on Humour, Attitude and Human Potential.

This is an excerpt from his Book "Light Up with Laughter" (The Humour and Health Connection) A book you've got to get to make the rest of your life the best of your life.
http://motivationalplus.com/cgi/a/t.cgi?light

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See, There is Humour Everywhere

Carol, my wife, was sitting in our family room reading Elle Magazine while I worked on this blog. When she read me this short quote from an article  she was reading I burst out laughing.

The author of this article was a woman named Clara Young and she said that before she sat down to write she went out for lunch to a nice restaurant. One of the lunch menu items  was lamb's testicles on a bed of lamb's lettuce. Her comment was, " Some feminists would say that testicles are exactly what is wrong with the world and that the safest place for them is on a plate."

I couldn't stop laughing. and immediately thought of the quote from George Bernard Shaw when he said," When you find something funny search it for hidden wisdom and truth."

I think there is both truth and wisdom in this brief story.

It's good that we can laugh at ourselves. Isn't it men?

My Dad's Secret to Being Charming

I remember asking my Dad, when I was 16, how I could become charming. I must admit that my motives were hormonally inspired at the time, but what he said to me has affected my life and relationships ever since. He looked at me and said, "Son, you become charming by making another person feel better about themselves when they are with you." What wisdom!

With my Dad's wisdom ringing in my ears I offer you a few suggestions on how to do just that- make someone feel better about themselves when in your company.

* Be alert for any chance to praise another. William James once said that we all have an insatiable appetite to be appreciated.

* Be fun to be with. Fun has a bonding power over human being. We want to be with people who make us laugh

* Be genuinely concerned about what's going on in the life of the other. When we genuinely love and care about others they find us charming and appealing and are more willing to return the feeling.

* Suspend your agenda in the interest of the others.

* Encourage and affirm your friend at every opportunity. We are the products of those who affirm and encourage us and those who never do.

* Listen twice as much as you talk. That's why we have been given two ears and one mouth.

* Give genuine compliments frequently. It was is Mark Twain who said that he can live for a month on just one compliment.

* Accept the person as they are and not as you want them to be. Our task on earth is to become our best selves not a mirror image of anyone else.

* Ask questions and listen to their answers. There is a difference between prying and being interested. I was once told that my wife, Carol, was a remarkable conversationalist. When I asked Carol for her secret she said that she just asks questions and listens carefully to their answers.

* Be enthusiastic. Enthusiasm is attractive. It makes us feel good about the one filled with enthusiasm and the ones basking in its glow.

* Be a friend without conditions. We have all heard and used the term," unconditional love" but have we committed ourselves to the reality? It is the most powerfully magnetic term in the universe. And will attract people to you like moths to a flame.

There is nothing more flattering or rare than the undivided attention of another. When you give your undivided attention to another they willingly give you their friendship and support in return. Remember, it is more important to be interested than interesting.

Mike Moore is a Canadian motivational speaker committed to the application of Laughter and Positive Attitude on self improvement and human relationships. Want to know more about Mike and his work visit http://motivationalplus.com/cgi/a/t.cgi?mmspeaks

Get your copy of Mike's best selling book Embracing the Mystery ( Living the Life you Want) http://motivationalplus.com/cgi/a/t.cgi?embracing

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The Wonder and Mystery of Being a Man

There  I was on the beach enjoying  the last rays of a glorious summer  sunset when I saw a young woman in her late twenties  walking toward me clad in very interesting beach attire.... if you know what I mean.  We smiled at one another  and commented on the beauty of the sunset.

What mystified me was why a man who was old enough to be her father kept hearing a little voice  inside his head say, " Suck in your stomach big fella."

The wonder and mystery of being a man.

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Cartoon: Why Single Men Should Adopt a Pet.

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Cartoon...Will I Ever Learn?

This was inspired by my wife's response to a similar question. Will I ever learn?

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Now this guy knows how to feather his nest.

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" 5 year old watching his Grandpa taking out his false teeth: " WOW, that was great. Now let me see you take off your nose."

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The Value of a Smile

I was reading recently that, at Las Vegas blackjack tables, dealers who smile bring in 5% more revenue than the dealers who don't. The writer seems to believe that when people see a smiling face they immediately think the person smiling is on their side. Interesting!

START SMILING

Just because you have a pain doesn't mean...

I think we can all learn something from this cartoon. Don't you?




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