True Story on The Destructive Power of Our Words

A True Story from Embracing the Mystery                                                  

When I was in my late teens something happened that shook me to my roots and yet  started me on a journey to fulfillment that has resulted in me being  the confident,  person /motivational speaker I am today.

Let me tell you the story…

There I was, 17 years old, 6'3"tall and weighing 129 pounds of rippling, power packed muscle. I really did look like a broomstick with glasses.

 

I was standing in front of a full length mirror combing my hair when my aunt, who was  visiting from out of town, passed by , looked at me and said,” You know Mike it’s a damn good thing God gave you personality because he sure  didn’t give you looks.” She laughed and moved on past me.

I just stood there in shock and disbelief not knowing what to say.

 

If you were standing  in my place  and heard these words directed at you how would you have felt?

 

I didn’t realize the long term impact her words would have on me during the coming years and how I would struggle to heal and grow beyond their bite.

 

For many years after I was married whenever my wife and I were dressed to go out on the town she would look at me with admiration and say, “Mike, do you ever look handsome.”

For a long time my response would be, “ Carol, I’m clean and I smell good but don’t get carried away.”

 

The lesson I learned from this is clear:  We don’t always know how our words affect others.  Once they leave our mouth it’s impossible to get them back and their negative, destructive impact can remain for years.

 

Because of this hurtful event I became committed to monitoring my mouth to make certain I didn’t hurt others in the name of trying to be funny. Being human, I sometimes fail but when I do I immediately say I’m sorry and get back on track.

 

I ask you …can you relate to this story?  Has something like this ever happened to you?  How did you handle it and how did you overcome the negative impact on your life?

 

This is just one of the stories from Embracing the Mystery ( Living  the Life You Want)

Taming the Toxic People in Your Life

In my travels across North America speaking on motivation and human potential I hear the same question asked repeatedly, " How can I become more assertive?" There is no doubt about it, there are people in our lives who are harmful to our health and we don't like it one bit.

I read recently that toxic people make up about ten percent of the population and cause over 50 percent of all relational damage. For our own well-being and the well-being of those we care about we must learn how to cope with these toxic people at home, at work and at play.

I wrote the following report in response to the question, "How can I learn to cope with the difficult people in my life?" From the reaction I have had to this report it is proving helpful. I do want to say emphatically that what you read here won't do a thing to improve your situation unless you have the courage to use the suggestions given. Go for it! You're worth the effort.

TOXIC PEOPLE.........

rob us of our dignity.

destroy our self confidence.

increase our stress levels.

destroy our morale.

erode our self esteem.

foster negativity.

decrease productivity.

make life hellish.

are abusive.

are toxic because they can get away with it and it works for them.

HOW TO DEAL WITH TOXIC PEOPLE

Remember that you can't change toxic people, but you can learn to cope with them. Here are some effective strategies to try.

* Always stand at eye level with the person you are confronting. Never have them standing over you looking down.

* Respect the toxic person and always expect respect in return. Settle for nothing less.

* Remain calm.

* Listen attentively.

* Don't argue or interrupt, just listen.

* Don't accuse or judge, just state how you feel.

* If the toxic person tries to verbally bully you, just say, " I don't allow people to treat me this way." Then slowly and calmly walk away.

* When someone is being toxic to you here is a powerful response and one that is easy to use because you don't have to say a word. In the midst of a toxic attack just PAUSE....LOOK AT THE PERSON, WITHOUT EMOTION......TURN AND WALK AWAY. It works!

* Anger is sometimes a valid response.

* If all else fails you might be left with only one option; to separate yourself from the toxic person in your life.

YOU DON'T EXIST TO BE SOMEONE'S PERSONAL GARBAGE DUMP.

This is an excerpt from Mike's popular book  The Art of Verbal Self Defence. MORE HERE

How to Stop Verbal Bullies in Their Tracks $15.00

Hi. For one month, starting today March 10, I am offering visitors to The Laughter Lounge a chance to enroll in my 9 week online course on Taming the Toxic People in Your Life. If you feel abused by toxic people at home, work and play why not check it out? You don't exist to be anyone's personal dormat.