Life Changing Words from the Wise Old Hermit

Read carefully as these simple words have the power to transform your life.

"It's better to be pissed off than pissed on." http://motivationalplus.com/cgi/a/t.cgi?light

Ten Funny Quotations to Brighten Your Day and Enlighten Your Life

Some people reject quotations as inadequate or insufficient because they don’t contain anything but a seed of truth and/or wisdom. That is true due to the fact that a quote is but one or two sentences and therefore can’t contain anything but a seed of wisdom. Isn’t a seed of wisdom and truth often enough?  I am reminded of the old adage, “From a tiny seed a might oak does grow.” But if that brief gem of wisdom prompts further thought or reflection isn’t that worth something especially in an age where a lot of people never take time to indulge in the pleasure of thinking or analysis?

I believe that quotations, when they strike a chord with the reader, can affirm or challenge their position or beliefs and result in further reflection. When they evoke the response, “Isn’t that the truth?” or, “I never thought of that before!” or,” That was funny.” they have great value.

There are two classifications of quotations, funny and serious. I love both but have a preference for the funny ones. They don’t have to be rolling in the aisle funny but they have to be at least amusing to you the reader.

Here are 10 of my favourites from my vast collection. Hope you enjoy their WIT (WISDOM, INSIGHT, and TRUTH)

1. You wouldn't worry what people thought about you if you only knew how seldom they did.

2. To expect life to treat you fairly because you're a good person is like expecting a bull not to charge you because you're a vegetarian.

3. Worry is like a rocking chair; it will give you something to do, but won't get you anywhere.

4. Pain and suffering are a lot like gas....they too shall pass.

5. Always borrow money from a pessimist. They don't expect to be paid back.

6. Anyone who says that swimming is good for the figure has never taken a real good look at a whale.

7. A bore is always "ME" deep in conversation.

8. Some people think their lives are full, when really they're just cluttered.

9. If at first you don't succeed, try not to be amazed.

10. A leader without a sense of humour is like a grass cutter at a cemetery. You have a lot of people under you paying absolutely no attention.

George Bernard Shaw once said that if you find something funny search it for hidden truth. Here are few pearls of wisdom packaged in humour. Enjoy.

Live Better....Laugh More

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Mike Moore is an Canadian speaker and writer on humor and stress management and humor in the workplace.

 

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3 Funny Oneliners

 Inside every old person is a young person wondering what the hell happened.

 I know there is no life on Mars. It has never shown up on my daughter’s phone bill.

 The problem with being punctual is there’s no one around to appreciate it.

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Six Humorous Motivating Oneliners

Optimism is a lot like electricity... nothing much happens without it.

Doctor  to family of deceased patient: " He failed to achieve his wellness potential."

Willie Nelson's concept of leadership: Find a group heading in your direction and jump out in front of it.

" If it weren't for laughter we'd be a lot sicker than we are." Victor Borge

Men love women because they're wonderful. Women love men because chocolate can't  mow the lawn.

Why is it that health club commercials never show people who look as if they need to be there?

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Here are 5 one liners from my collection of 101 Humorous Oneliners

1. Expecting life to treat you fairly because you’re a good person is much like expecting a bull not to charge you because you’re a vegetarian.

2. Start each day off with a smile..............and get it over with. W.C. Fields

3. My Mother told me I wouldn’t get far in life because of my procrastination, but I told her,“ Just you Wait!”

4. If you go to a doctor’s office and find all the plants dead, get yourself another doctor. Erma Bombeck

5. If at first you don’t succeed, so much for sky diving