Mental Munchies

There is nothing as irrelevant as the answer to an unasked question.

Remember that nothing says;" I love you like a vacuum cleaner."

Vodka might be made from potatoes but it doesn't count as a serving of vegetables.

http://motivationalplus.com/cgi/a/t.cgi?embracing

Humorous Oneliners to Give Your Life a Lift and a Laugh

I love humorous oneliners. They are fun, insightful and easy to use to brighten your conversation.


* Most people would rather defend to the death your right to say something rather than have to listen to you say it in the first place.

* Make sure that you’re never so busy learning the tricks of the trade that you never learn the trade.

* Inflation is just a drop in the buck.

* Winter is the time of the year when it’s too cold to do the jobs around the house that didn’t get done in the summer because it was too hot.

* A closed mouth gathers no feet.

* Oh Lord make my words palatable because tomorrow I may have to eat them.


How to Be Funny and Entertaining

I Love Humorus Oneliners

Here is one I use in my talk " How to Parent Teenagers and Stay Sane"

Getting into an argument with a teenager is like getting into a peeing contest with a skunk.

If you have a humorous oneliner why not send it on so we can all enjoy it.

101 Humorous Oneliners

Funny One-liners

Here are four funny ones for you to brighten your day.

* I'm on two diets. I just don't get enough food on one.

* The only way to lose 75 pounds fast is to get mugged in England.

* My doctor suggested that I cut back on red meat, so I quit putting ketchup on my hamburgers.

* I'm not as smart as I used to be but you can't stay a teenagers all your life.

How to Be Funny and Entertaining


How To Be Happy In An Unhappy World

101 Humorous Oneliners

To order the entire 101 Oneliners for only $7.00

Here are 5 one liners from my collection of 101 Humorous Oneliners

1. Expecting life to treat you fairly because you’re a good person is much like expecting a bull not to charge you because you’re a vegetarian.

2. Start each day off with a smile..............and get it over with. W.C. Fields

3. My Mother told me I wouldn’t get far in life because of my procrastination, but I told her,“ Just you Wait!”

4. If you go to a doctor’s office and find all the plants dead, get yourself another doctor. Erma Bombeck

5. If at first you don’t succeed, so much for sky diving