Humorous Oneliners to Give Your Life a Lift and a Laugh

I love humorous oneliners. They are fun, insightful and easy to use to brighten your conversation.


* Most people would rather defend to the death your right to say something rather than have to listen to you say it in the first place.

* Make sure that you’re never so busy learning the tricks of the trade that you never learn the trade.

* Inflation is just a drop in the buck.

* Winter is the time of the year when it’s too cold to do the jobs around the house that didn’t get done in the summer because it was too hot.

* A closed mouth gathers no feet.

* Oh Lord make my words palatable because tomorrow I may have to eat them.


How to Be Funny and Entertaining

Health Care Cartoon

Hi to all. I have been doing a lot of talks to health care providers of late and thought I would share a cartoon from my collection. Hope you enjoy it. Mike





For more health care cartoons

A Great Example of Aging With Humor

I am leaving in about 30 minutes for a talk to 600 teachers in New Brunswick but before I go I just have to share this with you.

Carol and I received this email this morning from a friend whose Mother is in a nursing home. She is 91 and very earthy,funny and sharp. I have three stories about this lady that I use in my talks with huge response. Now I have another. Here it is.


" We are having a party for my mother on May 15th as she will be turning 91 on the 17th. I hope she behaves at her birthday party. The social director where my mother lives told me she had everyone laughing at one of their group memory games. They were looking for words that are spelled & sound the same but mean something different. They gave some examples and then asked for some suggestions. My mother suggested the word "screw"."

Want to age with humor?

New Cartoon from Mike + 2 FREE e-books

Here is a new cartoon to brighten your day.




Two FREE ebooks on Stress and Humor in the Workplace for you here Scroll down on the page to find the e-books

Master the art of VERBAL SELF DEFENSE

How to Tame the Toxic People in Your Life

Discover effective tips, tools, and techniques to tame the stress inducing, toxic people in your life. You don't exist to be a doormat for anyone.

How about a FREE stress manual plus a free copy of " Thank God It's Monday" ( Humor in the Workplace) Visit here

I have been on the road speaking... NEW UPDATE

Hi to all. I have just returned from a speaking trip to Ottawa ON Canada ( The nation's Capital) where I spoke at the National Arts Centre to The Financial Management Institute of Canada. We stayed at the Lord Elgin Hotel and had a great time. The people at the conference were terrific and so receptive to my message, " Living a Balanced Life in an Unbalanced World" I just love this work!!

On our way to Ottawa we stopped in at Beachburg ON where a friend has her farm. The Ottawa Valley is beautiful any time of year but in Spring it has a special spirit of renewal. I sat for hours overlooking the valley watching the bluebirds build their nest on an nearby fence post. ESP in action( The Enjoyment of Simple Pleasures) Life is good. Thanks Barb for the hospitality.

Here is a new cartoon for you all to give your life a lift and a laugh.

FREE STRESS MANUAL HERE

One of the Positive Things About Aging

There is always something positive in life if you only look for it



From "How to Avoid Getting Old No Matter How Long You Live"

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH...STOP STUDENT BULLYING NOW!!!

I am so upset with what I have been seeing and hearing about student bullying and its tragic results that I've decided to do something about it NOW!!!
The INSANITY MUST STOP!!!!
I am in the process of putting together a practical blueprint for educators to do something to stop student bullying. I want to make it available to you free of charge as soon as it's finished. If you want to receive a copy visit here.
You'll see access instructions at the top of the page.

Get as many parents and educators on board as you can. Thanks. Mike

Together we can stop this insanity.

" All that's required for evil to continue is that good people stand by and do nothing."

LET'S DO SOMETHING SO CHILDREN CAN BE SAFE, SECURE AND AFFIRMED IN THEIR SCHOOLS.

This is one thing that drives me up a wall... and it's everywhere

Have you ever had this type of thing happen to you when you call a company and expect service? ALL I WANT IS TO TALK TO A REAL LIVE HUMAN BEING. Is that too much to expect? It must be, because I never get one. When will personal service and personal contact return to the marketplace? There...I feel better. Now back to joyful living.




For more cartoons ONLY $7.00 PER COLLECTION

Positive Attitude Cartoon

So true



More cartoons only $19.97 for all of my collections...300 ready to use cartoons.

Mike Moore: For a great message in a fun package!

Sad But Humorous

In yesterday's newspaper I read about a woman who won $20 million in the recent lottery. She had just come through a nasty divorce and had $80 in her bank account. She now had 20 million. Imagine that. ( I love stories where needy people win BIG!!)
Anyway she was interviewed by the press and was asked this question, " What would you like to say to your ex husband right now?" With a twinkle in her eye she replied, " It sure sucks to be you right now, doesn't it."

I Love Humorus Oneliners

Here is one I use in my talk " How to Parent Teenagers and Stay Sane"

Getting into an argument with a teenager is like getting into a peeing contest with a skunk.

If you have a humorous oneliner why not send it on so we can all enjoy it.

101 Humorous Oneliners

$7.00 Special Reports ( Public Speaking)

Hi to all. I just created a site you'll want to check out. All the special reports on this page can be downloaded for only $7 each. You can't get a better bargain than this.

How to Avoid Getting Old Cartoon

This is just one of the cartoons from my popular e-book " How to Avoid Getting Old No Matter How Long You Live." Check it out HERE

How to Stop Verbal Bullies in Their Tracks $15.00

Hi. For one month, starting today March 10, I am offering visitors to The Laughter Lounge a chance to enroll in my 9 week online course on Taming the Toxic People in Your Life. If you feel abused by toxic people at home, work and play why not check it out? You don't exist to be anyone's personal dormat.

When You Have an 'I Hate My Job' Day

THIS ITEM WAS SENT TO ME BY ONE OF MY READERS. I loved it.

When you have an 'I Hate My Job day'
[Even if you're retired, you sometimes have those days]

Try this out:

On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy
and go to the thermometer section and purchase a
rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson.

Be very sure you get this brand.
When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains
and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed.

Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your
favorite chair.
Open the package and remove the thermometer.
Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so
that it will not become chipped or broken.

Now the fun part begins.

Take out the literature from the box
and read it carefully.
You will notice that in small print there is a
statement: "Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson &
Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized."
Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five
times,' I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer
quality control department at Johnson & Johnson.'

HAVE A NICE DAY; AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE
ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE ARSE THAN
YOURS!
..Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your
face and laughter in your heart....
Then you are just an old sour person;

Check out my latest audio CD " Live Laugh Love and Be Happy" ( How to be happy in a troubled world)

FREE COPY of " Thanks God It's Monday" ( Humor in the Workplace)

Hi. I would like to offer all my Laughter Lounge visitors a free copy of my popular e-book on Humor in the Workplace, " Thank God It's Monday" To access your free copy click here

If you ever need a fun speaker with a Great Message drop by here.Thanks, Mike

Stressed Out Moms

" Show me an unhurried woman and I'll show you a man."

I don't know who said this but it's true. Isn't it?

Most of the people in my audiences are women/moms and they have made it perfectly clear that they needed something addressed to them and their stresses. Since I speak on " The Hurried Woman's Syndrome" I thought I could do something for them. Even though I am a man I can and do appreciate the fact that women/moms are stetched and scattered beyong what is reasonable... AND IT'S NOT HEALTHY!



Take a peek at my "Survival Kit for Stressed Out Moms"

Ten Percent of the Population is on This Medication

When I read this statistic I couldn't believe it.




Check out my Stress Busting Kit

The Sad Reality of Loneliness ( Cartoon)

Someone once said that humor has long been a device for getting at the truth. I was reading about lonely seniors who spend their days alone with nobody to talk to or to visit them. It was then I was inspired to create this cartoon.

Let's give someone who lives alone a call just to say hi and chat for a few minutes.

Cartoons reflect life back to the viewer.

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